A retrospective: Roots

“This is my plant. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My plant is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.”

After recent tribulations, I’ve been faced with more solitude than I can give myself credit for.

With this time apart I’ve been given a special opportunity for a massive self-reflective re-hall.

I’ve chosen to step back from my fears and anger to analyze where everything roots from. Keyword is Root. Note how root, stem, branch, blossom, are all words relating plants to humans.

We subscribe to things all day. Thoughts original and corrupted are fed to us nearly every waking second. Then we live a life based on the good ones ie. motivating or goal-oriented thinkings and are equally held back by the corrupting virus ones ie. I’m not smart enough to do it, I can’t do it, and so unfortunately sometimes we fail to fight it and wind up accepting it as normal. Now we are living in a delusion.

I’ve been faced with many questions. One that sticks out at the moment is “what I like, and why I like it”. This single question has been more prevalent than ever before. This sort of “shock-to-the-system” we all faced, in my personal opinion, has opened a portal never to be bound again.

With the status quo being you must attain a certain aesthetic level to be accepted. Where how you’re perceived reins higher than how you actually act. To hold this status in which you reign supreme over others. I have to say I believe we lose something in all of us when we agree to this structure. It’s this piece of humanity that anyone in their mid-to-late 20’s say is not in the kids of today. And its this sort of unspoken rule.

* Place of wonders - John

Again, this is my bias and my opinion. I personally flip and flip on ideas constantly as anyone whos really trying to learn should. We must always know we know nothing.

I’ve always had the dream of the quiet house on the hills with the calm reflective creek in the early dawn to the sunny cool evenings and all the birds singing in harmony. I seem to have adopted the symbolism of a bird flying as a personal mental healthy sign or some sign from the higher power. When I’m faced with an arduous thought I gaze out the window and say in this example I see one bird alone. That to me says strength in individuality, a solo’s journey.

In that, there are lessons to be learned.

my best friend and my film partner Joaquin is a brilliant guy. He is constantly pushing me to question thought. When you can create these spaces you are able to vomit your ideas, open and explore your mind and thiught. We find ourselves deviating from edting and spend countles hours depbating. 

something that calls to me is the conversation of ironic detachment. I am no liquist like he is, but i do have my thoughts. We all are experiencing our own reality’s. Were all our own directiors, and agree to unwirrten and written social structions that keep us all copasteteic. 

i dont know exacflly when, but i could guess somewhere in my childhood i just, for lack of better words, fell out of the simulation. Death was a big factor in my earleist of memorys. loosing my grandparents was something i struggled deeply with. Lets not digress. 

Recently I went through a scary moment with my plant. I took great care and do diligence watering this plant but I started noticing the leaves were browning and falling off. First it started it’s just one or two eventually leading to every day seeing more and more leaves on the ground. This upset me very much and based off of recent circumstances I believed this was some sort of symbolism I drew upon. much like my personal issues this needed to be fixed at its core fixed at its “root”. 

* Place of wonders - John

One morning I decided to put an end to this issue. I began by doing a thorough inspection of every leaf, stem, twig, working my way into the soil where I made some interesting discoveries. My particular tree has three thick braided roots. roots are made from ______ making them strong. a good root is solid, it feed its body with the nutrients it gains being connected to the earth’s surface. i noticed that One of the three supporting roots was heavily decayed this route was dry and hollow upon touching it crumbled like a cracker. I came to the assumption this is the culprit this is the source of my problem. being far from the botanist I wish I was I went to google to search for answers. after about 30 seconds I lock my phone and took it upon myself to take the leap of faith and fix it myself. I began by meticulously and carefully working my way to unravel its thick braid. much like my relationship with my mind it’s something i have to meticulously and carefully do in order to heal my weaknesses.

my point in all this could be rather simple. 


we must search deep inside ourselves and ask why am i this way. we must find the root of our problems and begin the Journey of finding where our thoughts derive from as well as a journey into self discovery in an effort to connect with our truest self.  

in the case of the rotting root, it has a happy ending… 


after carefully removing the harmful rooting carcass, she made a full recovery. within days brown leaves were turning bright green and even a baby flower has grown straight from the soil separate from the tree. The leaves have bloomed more than ever and everyday I am reminded of it’s true grace. we all have times when we’re down and feel we are rotting away. we must water our minds with the same nutrients that waters are ever so beautiful ecosystem (nature). 


Comments (2)

  • Mark Luttrell

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  • Mariah Nolan

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